Free Gas for Your Think Tank — Short Reflections, Lasting Encouragement

Don't fear a tear.
It often means 
That Christ is near.

Outside of funerals, crying is rarely appreciated or encouraged in church. People are quick to hand a tissue to help a crier tidy up. However, when Christians gather as ekklesia to open up their heart to one another and to the God the Holy Spirit, it’s not unusual for teardrops to fall.

Why do people cry? Because tears are a gift from God. They’re not just salty eyewater. They have a spiritual, supernatural aspect to them.

The fear that a tear may appear causes many Christians to quench the Holy Spirit by fighting to keep their eyes dry. But what happens when the eyes moisten anyway? What happens when teardrops fall?

There are two kinds of tear tracks. Sad tears happen when we are hurting. They are a nonverbal, prayer-like cry for help. They release and our pain and keep it from building up inside of us.

Glad (or tender) tears occur when we feel blessed. They help awe, gratitude, and love to freely flow from deep within us when our heart is being tenderly touched with appreciation. When we hold back our tears, we hinder God’s help and we harden our heart to the awareness of His glorious presence.

In Western culture people crying is usually seen as embarrassment, as weakness, as emotional breakdown, as lack of self-control, as something to avoid at all costs (especially for men). Children grow up being called “crybaby” by other kids and being sternly told “Don’t cry,” or “Stop Crying,” by adults.

Those of us raised in Western culture have been taught to keep our eyes dry. We have been trained to try our best not to cry and if we do to keep our tear time as brief as possible. We feel like we owe it to ourselves and to the people around us to save us all from tear-embarrassment.

So, when we see someone beginning to cry there is normally a sense of awkwardness and panic. However, if we can get beyond that and accept tears as a spiritual gift from God, amazing things begin to happen.

Tenderness and compassion begin to spread around the room. People begin to feel more connected to one another. Humility comes out of hiding. Friendship thickens. The awareness of God’s presence intensifies. Few eyes remain dry as the warmth of heart-connection triumphs in the room.

I’ve always had a soft heart and because of that I cry easily, especially with tears of compassion and when I feel God’s presence. All my life I’ve struggled with feeling ashamed when tears come to my eyes and I’ve tried to hold them back. I’ve been so brained washed by Western culture that I still do.

Last fall my wife Ernie and I spent three months in Costa Rica (at Vidanet) helping to disciple young adults from the USA and several Latin American countries. When I would share a devotion with them, I would usually cry. Although I know that good things happen when tears are allowed to fall, I would still be embarrassed by it.

The day that most of us were leaving to go home, I knew I would cry every time I told someone goodbye, so I wore sunglasses to hide my tears. One of the leaders walked up to me and said, “Steve, why are you crying?”

I said, “Why do you think I’m crying?” She replied: “Because you are wearing sunglasses and it’s too cloudy to need them.” She caught me hiding the gift of God.

What would happen if those of us who are seeking to follow and obey Jesus would stop quenching and hiding our tears. What if we would begin to openly allow people to see how deeply the Holy Spirit is touching our heart? What if we ignored Western culture and quit disobeying the Scripture that says, “Quench not the Spirit,”?

Lord, please forgive me for all the times I’ve quenched Your Spirit by holding back and trying to stop Your gift of tears. Please help me to have the courage to let that gift feely flow without embarrassment every time You start releasing it through me. In Jesus’ name, amen.