The Misunderstanding of Christianity —
More Blocked Doors, Busted Dreams, and Heartbreaks

Christianity isn’t about getting what I want. It’s about surrendering my life and my desires to God and His will.

One day, when I was prayer walking with the Salvation Army Flag by myself in a Nashville inner-city neighborhood, I looked up and saw a huge picture of Dave Ramsey on a billboard high above Interstate 65. At one point, when I was a motivational speaker, Dave, two other speakers, and I put together a brochure featuring the 4 of us.

Dave has had the great success I used to dream about for myself. In fact, for years I used to say to myself, “I am a famous, wealthy, and dynamic best-selling author and speaker.” Dave even used to give away my first book, “Mindrobics–How to Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life,” in his seminars and helped me in several other ways. I’ll always be grateful to him for that. I believed that as a famous speaker I could use my influence to point people to the risen Jesus.

Then God used my severe voice problems (a voice specialist even recommended that I go on disability) and a completely unexpected opportunity from The Salvation Army to turn my life in another direction.

When I saw Dave’s picture and thought about where I was, I was tempted to be jealous. Then God reminded me of all the beautiful ways I was seeing Him work in amazing people’s lives. I suddenly realized that God had lovingly closed the door to speaking and writing fame and fortune so He could direct me to where He wanted me to be. With tears in my eyes, I thanked the Lord for using closed doors to keep me on His path, and I continue to do so.

I experienced other strangely blocked doors and disappointments in my speaking career. For several years, I was a regular writer for Zig Ziglar’s “Top Performance” magazine. Zig even wrote a great front cover endorsement for my first book. I also spoke to the staff at his company a couple of times. Finally, he signed me to a contract for his company to represent me as one of their featured speakers.

I was thrilled. I knew I was on the way to great success. Then the oddest thing happened. I never heard from Zig or his staff again. Every time I called his company, I couldn’t get beyond the receptionist. There was no explanation, no correspondence, no contact — nothing but a tightly shut door. It was so strange that I felt like it had to be God at work shutting a door to keep me in His will.

I live in Nashville and liked to dream about being the motivator for the Tennessee Titans. I imagined that they would hire me to speak to the players before every game and at the end of the season they would win the Super Bowl. I pictured other NFL teams having a bidding war for my services. (My ego can run wild.)

To purse that dream I went to several open practices to get player autographs. Then I would give each player two autographed copies of my book, “Mindrobics,” (one for themselves and one to pass on to head coach Jeff Fisher). I think that Jeff must have received several copies.

Then, unexpectedly and without any effort I came across Jeff’s home address. I wrote him several letters offering to speak to his players. One day Jeff wrote me back. He said that he would like to meet with me during the off season to talk about my proposal. Again, I was thrilled, but that off season I never heard from him.

The next year my daughter was hired by Life Way Christian Resources to be a child actor in that year’s Vacation Bible School video. Jeff’s son was hired to play her brother. They wanted a parent present at the filming so Ernie and I both had the opportunity to meet and spend time with Jeff’s wife, Julie. My hopes were high, but I still didn’t hear anything from Jeff.

A year or two later I answered my phone. A man introduced himself as Steve Watterson, the assistant head coach for the Tennessee Titans. He told me that he had talked to Coach Fisher. He said that Jeff told him he knew me and gave him the go ahead to bring me in to speak to the players. My excitement level went through the roof!

Then after a long pause, Coach Watterson said something like, however we talked to our legal department and there’s a technicality that prevents us from bringing you in. My disappointment level dropped through the floor. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. The call ended rather awkwardly.

I was stunned. Why did I receive such a call? The only explanation I could come up with was that God wanted me to know how close I came to that dream coming true (well maybe not the Superbowl part) and how He closed the door to keep my life on His path. I’ve thanked the Lord for that blocked door many times.

When I was serving as an assistant pastor in Paducah, Kentucky, I went to a school to become a licensed realtor and took a part-time job with a top real estate company. I discovered that I was good at calling For Sale by Owner ads and persuading people to list their home with me. Because of that I soon had more listings than anybody in the Paducah franchise of the company.

My first three months I won a top sales award. It looked like I was on the way to real estate success. However, a few months later the manager fired me without giving me any reason. The firm kept all my listings and the clients I was showing homes to. That was a shocker and I had to work hard to forgive the manager. Gradually I began to see that closed doors are often a blessing from God. If I had made a lot of money selling real estate in Paducah, I might not have followed God’s leading to move on.

As a young man I had an unusual view of dating. I didn’t want to date just for fun. I wanted to find my soul mate — a girl who I could have an idealistic marriage with. That never worked out very well for me. Over the years I had my heart crushed several times.

I finally married when I was 33 and from day one it was a disaster. My new wife quickly shifted from being in love with me to acting like she hated me. Nothing I said or did would change her sour attitude and actions toward me. The marriage was basically in name only.

I was devastated. Within a few months I was in a different bedroom. I didn’t believe in divorce, so I endured and prayed and cried a lot. After 3 1/3 years of intense emotional agony, she divorced me. I felt like my heart was broken beyond repair. I wanted to disappear. I realized that if I didn’t change my attitude the result would be tragic. I started desperately listening to uplifting, motivational recordings day and night and I cried out to the Lord nonstop.

In my desperation and hopelessness, I began to see God’s light again. In my great pain, the risen Jesus walked with me, strengthened me, and comforted me. I worked hard to resist anger and bitterness and to forgive and to rely on the presence of Christ in me to heal me. That slammed door that almost did me in caused me to seek God presence more than ever before. Jesus led me back to hope. I fully surrendered my dream of a beautiful marriage to Him.

I wanted to help other people who are struggling through emotional and spiritual pain. As you know, I had been a misfit at being a pastor, so I decided to help people by becoming a motivational speaker. I moved to Nashville and started calling organizations and companies, volunteering to speak for free to their employees. I called a local seminar leader to ask for advice. Her name was Ernie and we became friends. I had no intention to date or remarry.

Once when we were talking, I told her the details about how my heart had been crushed. Ernie said something like, “I don’t think you’re healed.” I immediately collapsed and couldn’t stop deeply weeping. She put her hands on my shoulder and waited patiently. My sobbing eventually stopped and from that moment I was free from the great grief I was carrying.

Over the next few months, we became best friends and to my surprise, more than friends. She’s the Ernie you have been reading about. My dream of an amazing marriage came true.

I still don’t believe in divorce. I did all I could to prevent it. But God used the pain I suffered to draw me closer to Him. Ernie and I made the commitment to never consider or threaten divorce and we never have. I am so grateful for God’s mercy, forgiveness, and healing.

Ernie and I greatly love our parents. We lost all 4 of them over a period of ten years. It’s so hard to watch people you love lose their health and die even though we believe all 4 of them knew the Lord.

Blocked doors, busted dreams, and heartbreaks have kept me from getting satisfied and comfortable with life and settling in to do my own thing. They have helped keep my pride and ego from taking over my life. They have kept me crying out to God for his mercy and guidance. For that I am truly and eternally grateful.

Ernie and I want the remainder of our lives to radiate God’s glory and grace. As she says, we want to go out in a blaze of glory.

#blessedandgrateful #InnerPeace