True love listens with the kindness and tenderness of an open heart that truly cares. True love humbly shares in and bears other people’s pain. Self-protecting love falls far short of the vulnerability of true love.

Love-phobic people know that it is frightening to open your heart to others, to care deeply about them, and to let them care about you. They know that love involves vulnerability and can easily be hurt by disappointment and heartbreak. Love-phobic people often run from and/or use blame or resentment to distance themselves from the people who love them the most.

Love-phobic people demand unconditional approval of their words and behaviors. If they don’t get it, they accuse others of being unloving. They define love as big warm blanket-approval that embraces and applauds their desires, feelings, and actions. They consider an unwillingness to applaud their choices as unloving.

Love respects people and their right of disapproval. It doesn’t get defensive, disappear, or shut down because of disagreement. True love knows that the people who love you continue to care deeply about you even when they don’t approve of or agree with your words or behaviors.

True love is sacrificial. Because true love continues to care about people no matter how much it has been hurt by them, it is beyond mere human ability. Divorce demonstrates how human love can come to an end and disintegrate into open disdain and heart-felt hostility.

True love is supernatural. It requires an ongoing experience of and awareness of God’s love that isn’t based on approval of your thoughts, feelings, desires, and behaviors, but cares deeply about you no matter what!