Mental and emotional pain by any other name–heartache, sorrow, grief, depression, heartbreak, disappointment, sadness, distress, agony, misery, suffering, or torment–feels the same. As human beings we’ve all said or done things that have caused others pain and we’ve all been hurt by other people’s words or actions. That kind of pain is a tremendous strain on our state of mind. It drains us of our joy and tranquility. Here are some simple ways we can move beyond it and into inner healing and peace:

1) Always strive to avoid taking offence at things people say or do to you. Forcefully shake off their painful words and actions before they dig down deep inside of you.

2) Be an inverse paranoid. Assume that everybody cares about you (even when it appears obvious that they don’t), but that their own pain has disabled their ability to communicate it to you. Remember that hurt people hurt people. Instead of being offended when someone hurts you, remind yourself that they must be even more miserable than you are. Then you will feel some compassion for them.

3) Refuse to play the blame game. Avoid thinking or speaking accusations against the person, people, or organization that sparked that pain in you. Instead, “Love your enemies,” by “speaking the truth in love.”

4) Refuse to retaliate. Refuse to open your heart’s gate to hate. “Forgive and you will be forgiven.”

5) When you want to blame or retaliate, bless instead. Ignore your negative feelings and continually force yourself to think, wish, pray, and say good things for and about the individual or group who hurt (or is hurting) you. “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who despitefully use you.”

6) Compel yourself to focus on, enjoy, be grateful for, and talk about whatsoever things are encouraging, hopeful, true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, “if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things.” Refuse to think about hurtful things that were said about you or done to you.

7) Remember that God’s prophets were persecuted, and that Jesus Christ was “despised and rejected” and crucified on false charges yet still forgave. It’s an honor to “share in the fellowship of His suffering.” Let your pain cause you to grow closer to Christ’s presence and comfort. Let it motivate you to fully open your heart to and surrender to “Christ in you, the hope of glory.”